What Happens When the Scapegoat Leaves the Family? It can be very difficult for the scapegoat to resist the familys attempts to control them with gaslighting. When my mom was very sick she gifted all her kids and the spouses and family with a cruise trip. Of course, the scapegoat has been immersed in toxicity for so long that they dont realize just how dysfunctional their family dynamic is. Thanos clearly and openly favors Gamora, even referring to her as his favorite daughter in front of Nebula. You might feel youre being unjustly blamed, but when every member of your family, the people youve been around all of your life, is telling you that youre overreacting or too sensitive or being too hard on the narcissist, its very hard not to rethink your perception of reality. Problems with real-world launching: Scapegoats may struggle in many settings, including the workplace, school, and in social interactions. Part of the effectiveness of narcissists , gaslighting and scapegoating is making you feel alone, crazy and helpless. This was all what was needed to cut them off. Reckless behavior (substance use, self-harm, unprotected sex, shoplifting). Thank you all of you. As hard as it may be, it is really important for the scapegoat to refuse to give into the main abusers coercive tactics because the punishment theyll receive for leaving the family and returning is far greater than what anyone could ever imagine. Ill never allow them in my live again and they know. I didnt make a sound, didnt even flinch, just defiantly glared at him with hatred. I am happy in the life I built. I know because I have done a lot of personal growth work toward that end. So anxious to be accepted that I performed any task requested to soften their views of me. I am done watching her buy my nephew and allowing him to become worthless in his own eyes as she lets him live in a basement (now turned into his own 500,000 house . I have been clean & sober for about 20 yrs & am a Christian now & very thankful I finally escaped that part of my life. When I hit puberty and my sister left home, she went from spankings to just clocking me across the face and pushing, kicking, etc. Whilst they seem to have it easy, the reality is that they are always on stage being scrutinized, usually suffering from a permanent and crippling case of performance anxiety. . Its sick, inhuman and horrifying. Its not right. He started to raise his belt again, so I took a step closer.