In some cases, the adoptee may have built up an idealised image of the birth parent and be disappointed by the reality. And all this exacts a price that no stepmother should or needs to pay. I just sent you a letter involving your son! To keep the peace?To avoid the conflict?To get the ex-wife to like you?To look like the good guy?To make sure the stepkids love you?To be a saint?To be the perfect stepmother and wife?To make life easier?To ensure the smooth yet elusive blended family? The Martindale-Hubbell Peer Review Ratings process is the gold standard due to its objectivity and comprehensiveness. Honey, the best thing to do is put her in her place. Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Just because she can't see hers (for who knows why?? If you do your best to keep a level head and not let things get ugly (especially in front of your kids), the children will be much better off. Healthy Boundaries Pick one small thing youre tempted to relinquish. You should consult with a local attorney as soon as possible regarding this matter. Apologize to the bio-mom for overstepping your boundaries and giving unsolicited feedback. She made many comments that I lived there. WHY DO YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO ASK ME THESE STUPID QUESTIONS???!!!. There may be feelings of anger, sadness, or betrayal that need to be processed. This will create a legal relationship between the stepmother and the children, and will give her some legal rights. I have heard that a lot of step mums feel like an unpaid nanny who sleeps with the father. Well maybe that was a low blow, I'm sure you aren't as big an idiot as the mom I'm dealing with (as a stepmom). I feel your pain I too have issues with my ex and his new wife disrespecting and bad talking against me exalting themselves like that are just the best parents ever. Stepmomming Coaching and Support | All Rights Reserved. Additionally, it can be difficult for a step parent to discipline a child who is not their own, and they may not be as effective in this role as the bio parents. I NEED MY DRIVERS PERMIT AND I NEED IT NOW, BLAH BLAH BLAH. No no. She has no right to tell your children anything like that against you. When Is a Stepparent Overstepping Boundaries?